The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

Burma Shave Signs
16 Jan 2006

     Before the interstates, when everyone drove the old two-lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the country-side in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four-line couplet...and the obligatory fifth sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

DON'T LOOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT *** Burma Shave *** DONT STICK YOUR HEAD OUT THE WINDOW TOO FAR IT MAY GO HOME IN AN OTHER CAR *** Burma Shave *** DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING *** Burma Shave *** BROTHER SPEEDERS LET'S REHEARSE ALL TOGETHER GOOD MORNING NURSE *** Burma Shave *** CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND MORE STEER *** Burma Shave *** SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN MARKS THE SPOT *** Burma Shave *** THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE *** Burma Shave *** AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT A BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN'T IT? *** Burma Shave *** NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU *** Burma Shave *** A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' *** Burma Shave *** AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY *** Burma Shave *** BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE *** Burma Shave *** THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING *** Burma Shave *** CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. *** Burma Shave *** PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW ***Burma Shave***